Just Say Knope!
A Community/Parks and Recreation Fan Fic by Loki100
I'm Leslie Knope, and I'm teaching a civics class at Greendale Community College, for I have at least five hours a week where I am not not working at the best parks and recreation department in America, and running the best campaign for local government in America.
"Jeff, I must speak with you about an urgent matter of great import!" Leslie said, stroking her radiant blonde hair out of her eyes, for it was like the morning sun rising upon the Long Island, glowing effervescently.
"Yes," Jeff said, his face betraying his cold indifference, not just to her, but to the very concept of education.
"Alas, you seem completely unmotivated despite having intelligence like unto Albert Einstein," she sighed, clutching her hands to her bulbous breasts, restrained in a tasteful pantsuit reminiscent of the glorious Hillary Clinton, "It is no doubt due to your inferior, non-Pawnee education!"
"Professor Knope, I am distracted by your immaculate beauty, you are a Diana running through the meadows of my dream, and I am unworthy of your hotness," Jeff responded, his eyes sparkling with the dew drops of his perfect love for her.
"Alas I can not return your love, and swoon into your perfect pecs, for you are not from Pawnee, and also I am dating this guy Ben." Leslie's phone did ring, and she raised to her delicate porcelain ear, listened for a moment, and then sighed an "Okay."
"It seems that guy Ben died," she said, resignedly.
"Oh my darling!" Jeff cried, wrapping his muscular arms around her like two anacondas wrapped around an ice cream cone.
"T'was his fault, he got poisoned by ingesting Eagleton corn, and Eagleton sucks. Because it is not Pawnee," she said as she swooned into his perfect pecs. And then they kissed like a llama and a daffodil in the morning dew.
She then pushed him away, "Alas, I can not, for you are not from Pawnee, and I shall never again date a non-Pawnee person!"
"Damn this star crossed romance!" Jeff cried. And then he kissed her again with the passion of a thousand plains of wheat. And then they banged, hard and long.