Your Morality

Fan Fiction By Evil Jeff
A.V. Club Link – http://www.avclub.com/articles/urban-matrimony-and-sandwich-arts,70576/#comment-470681129 (page 24)
 

Hi my nam is MavRick Wentz chem'cal Gof and I goo too Grendale Comunnity college xcept da Dean renamd it darkdale cos he turnd into a gof. I hav spikey black hair lik Pete Wentz (AN: If u dun't know who dat iz then GET THE HELL OUT) and i hav tattoos all over my back lol. I wear mcr tshirts and black jens. My best frend iz Brita Perry but she didnt lik tht name so she changd it to gostly obsdian purpole. She haz a blu strek in her hair. A lot of preppy fakes talk abut me lik dat Vicki uh she so fak. 
"Hey MavRcik!" shouted a voice. I loked up. it was…Annie Edison!
"Whats up Annie?" i asked 
Nuthing" she said shyly
but then I herd my friendz call me and i had to go away
THE END

 

Comments:

    • Automatic_Taglines

      [Evil Jeff stabs hand with fork.]

    •  That may very well be, but this is the best thing ever.

    •  
    • Why thank you, I put a lot of work into this. Most of it went to trying not to spell things right.

    • Mishin akumplisht.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      Fun Fact: By the time I was 15, I had gone to three concerts. Two of them were to see My Chemical Romance, the other to see Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. I am ashamed of my middle/junior high school years. 

    • SpongyandBruised

      If you don't count the Harvest Festivals in Anaheim, then I've only been to a Kenny Rodgers show and a Carrot Top show.

    • Funny thing about this fanfic is that I actually quite like Fall Out Boy. It's just WENTZ!!!! I immensely dislike.

    • SpongyandBruised

      I was about to write something about Fall Out Boy, but I realized I had them confused with Panic! At the Disco.

    • spongyandbruised Now Panic! At the Disco…that's a different matter. I…I just think they're the worst.

    • SpongyandBruised

      They are. Anyway, I can't really hate a Simpsons reference.

    •  
    • spongyandbruised I think it's because I came across their music at a time of very heightened emotions and I've just liked them ever since. And I forgot it was a Simpsons reference. Now all I can think is "Ze Goggles! Zey do Nothing!"

    • SpongyandBruised

      Up and at them!

    • Haha I was referencing this scene to my roommate earlier.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      I had my rare-ish Jack the Ripper murdering a prostitute MCR t-shirt for nearly five years before I lost it in a tragic art accident and I still have my Mikey Fuckin Way MCR (which I wear to sleep because it is not an out-in-public shirt) and I sometime will pick up Gerard Way's comic book when a new one comes out but I haven't listened to their music in two years. But yeah, MCRrrrrrr!! im stlil tewlve!!!

    • SpongyandBruised

      Ugh. I know a guy like this. He's a DJ.

    • I know a guy who changed his name from "Josh" to "Maverick". 

    •  Did he specify whether he meant Top Gun or that cowboy dude?

    • SpongyandBruised

      John McCain, actually.

    • OccamsBlazer

      For me, I would prefer either Hercules Rockefeller or Rembrandt Q. Einstein.

    • Is this seriously another staple of fanfiction?

    •  "fangz" and "goffik" are killing me. Thank you for this link!

    • Holy shit. 2,400 reviews?

    • This is widely regarded by anyone who has come across it as "Worst FanFiction Ever". I am serious guys, "Dumblydore" walks in on her and Draco having sex and he shouts "WHAT ARE YOU MUTHAFUCKERS DOING?!?!"

    • Automatic_Taglines

      That is some upper-level story-telling there.

    • SpongyandBruised

      Is Hot Topic a thing over there?

    • Hot Topic is a place where rich kids go to buy clothes that make them feel "goffik", as it were.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade."
      This may be the saddest thing I've ever read in my life.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      Has Draco Malfoy never been to a concert before? I mean, anyone who knows anything knows that you can't wear the t-shirt of the band you are going to see in concert to the their concert. That is like music snob 101.

    • SpongyandBruised

      "We both smoked cigarettes and drugs"

    • SpongyandBruised

      "We started frenching passively"

    • "I got up suicidally"

    •  Best adverb ever.

    • HAHAHAHA! Both of them??

    • Automatic_Taglines

      I have no idea why I am still reading this, but I am and I came along to this wonderful passage: 
      "Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. " 

      It has become very clear to me that 'Dreamweaver'"XXXbloodyrists666XXX" is 11 years-old.

    •  
    • SpongyandBruised

      "Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor."

    • SpongyandBruised

      She just mixed up "virility" with "virginity".

    • automatic_taglines You are reading this still because it is ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS ON THE INTERNET.
      Also, "Dreamweaver" is not the author. A girl called "XXXbloodyrists666XXX" posted it a few years ago but it all got taken down. Of course it was too hilarious to lose.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

      Also, can any 17-year-old vampire witches please explain to me why one would put on 'a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels' to go sleep?

    • SpongyandBruised

      Voldemort just started speaking archaic English!

    • SpongyandBruised

      "Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride"

    • SpongyandBruised

      There's no way this is real.

    • The sad thing is we will never know one way or the other.
      Fun fact, when it was being written someone hacked her account and finished the story prematurely with "chapter 39", but she carried it on regardless.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      Count Chocula with blood instead of milk. The breakfast of champions. The mass-media wants you to think it is Wheaties, but no, it's Count Chocula and human blood.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko."

    • That was one of my favourite lines.

    • 1. I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song.

      2. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. Yikes!

      (By the time Dumbledore calls them "Motherfuckers!" I almost felt like this has to be a troll.)

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!"

    • This is sublime. "and everything"; the parenthetical, with "basically" and "like Voldemort IN THE MOVIE"; "but it was obvious he wasn't gothic [lol]"; and the big surprise that the horrible man is the very same one used in the simile. Genius.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

      "Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

    • hopefully you guys have read the author notes too.
      "WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."

      (Edited by author 1 hour ago)

    •  I WAS scrayed, and I DID excrete.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      So in chapter 11 of the compelling saga, XXXbloodyrists666XX explains that vampire cannot die by slitting their wrists, but only by a 'c-r-o-s-s' or a steak (I guess red meat is bad for everyone.) She then explains that Draco is a vampire. But in a complete about-face, Miss XXXbloodyrists lets Draco kill himself at the end of the chapter by, get this, slitting his wrists.

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
      "EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
      "Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has – NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…"

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!"

    • Automatic_Taglines

      "Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked."

    • OccamsBlazer

      automatic_taglines In the words of Kingsley Shacklebolt: "You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style."

    • NewlyRegisteredRandom

      Oh yeah…anything Annie-centric makes her a whore, and anything Britta-peripheral makes her seem like the cool and awesome voice-of-reason.

      Again…I read Community fanfiction; [Britta]as a writer, I enjoy seeing how other people perceive the characters differently or similarly to how I do[/Britta], but yeah; a big percentage of the fanfics are written by teenage girls, and most teenage girls are morons (and I blame a crappy education system and shitty parenting as much as I do the innate moronocity of the average teenage girl here).

      (Edited by author 2 hours ago)

    • OccamsBlazer

      I still can't understand why there isn't more fanfiction about other characters in Community, like the Dean.

      The Dean is so ridiculous that anything could be considered in character. I mean he has a dalmatian fetish! The fanfiction literally  writes itself!