The Walking Students

A Community/Walking Dead Fan Fic by Loki100

Jeff walked up to Annie and said, "Ah'm feelin' sad because Ah could not save everyone from this zombie outbreak, even though Ah tried to."

"Jeff, you ignorant pile of human feces," Annie replied, "Y'all need to be killin' Pierce."

"Ah'm not gonna kill Pierce! Why would you even suggest that?"

"Jeff, you sack of crap! How could you think of killin' Pierce? He's my best friend!" Annie replied.

"Ah just have to talk out my disagreements with Pierce, like men."

"Jeff, you suck! You can't talk ta' Pierce, he's crazy, you need to kill him."

"Ah'm gonna ride into Greendale, and talk things out with Pierce."

"You can't leave the study room, Jeff you worthless hemorrhoid, it's too dangerous! Why do you have to be such a moron?"

Jeff left the study room. "That's it, Ah'm gonna have have to go after that despicable turd-gobbler," Annie said. Then she stepped into wastepaper basket, fell to the floor and broke her leg and was attacked by a zombie. Zombie brains splattered all over her face, getting in her mouth, up her nose, and in her eyes, and she looked up to see Jeff standing over her.

"Jeff, you rancid fish-dick, how dare you save me! What are you, lacking your one brain cell?"

"Ah wanted to save our family!"

"Jeff, Ah demand that you shoot me in the head right now, you stupid kangaroo's anus!"

After that they left the study room, shooting all 17,698 zombies infesting Greendale's campus.

Walking Conversations:

  • The_Tuna

    Annie in this story: still more consistent and believable than Lori.

  • Loki100

    I think that they don't even write dialogue for her, they just write in the script after anyone says something "(Lori disagrees)."

    Glen Mazzara was asked on Talking Dead once why everyone's always disagreed with Rick, and he actually said, "Well everyone always busts Rick's chops for some reason." I wish I could have been there to scream, "So you admit your characters have no motivations what so ever, and exist just to create extremely cheep drama?"

  • The_Tuna

    Shane was streets ahead of Rick as a leader; while he was certainly deranged, the decisions he made were far better for group survival.

    And yeah, I love how they literally "Rick shooting Sophia shows that he's the leader".

    A), it's OOC as hell for Shane not to just off her, because he's amply demonstrated that he doesn't give a shit about anyone besides Lori or Carl. If he can leave a living, breathing human to die, he can shoot a little girl zombie.

    B), that whole justification is just stupid. So he shot a zombie! Whoop-de-doo! Doesn't mean jack shit.

    God, even talking about this show makes me angry.

  • The_Tuna

    You know what really pisses me off? There is literally no reason for Rick to be leader. He's made one stupid decision after another (getting the group trapped in Atlanta, getting the camp attacked by zombies, getting them trapped in an exploding science facility with a madman, taking his son on a manhunt and getting him shot, having them camp out next to a zombie barn without questioning it, drawing attention to themselves in the bar, nearly getting them all killed to bring the gangster back).

    Why is he still the leader? Why do these people respect him at all? Shane was leading the group for days or weeks before Rick arrived, and has a much better track record on decisions.

    It literally feels like Rick leads the group just because that's the way it is in the comic.

      • Loki100

        HEY! He shot Sophia. Because apparently no one else is capable of shooting someone in their party that had turned…except Andrea did that season one to her own sister… Oh, The Walking Dead, will you ever stop sucking?

        Rick really is a terrible leader. Crazed, homicidal Shane still managed to be better than he was.

      • The scripts just read: Lori: (is shrill). The rest is improv.

      • NewlyRegisteredRandom

        Only criticism: Jeff and Annie do not have a son that they let wander around doing whatever when there are zombies everywhere.

        God, I miss ripping on the Walking Dead…

      • The_Tuna

         I practically put my fist through my screen when Lori was screaming about missing Carl in the finale.

        KEEP A FUCKING EYE ON HIM, WOMAN! You don't do anything but sit around and lecture everyone all day, but you CAN'T KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR SON?

        Also, can we discuss how absurd it was that a zombie which couldn't hold Carl was able to bring down Dale?

        This show has literally zero internal consistency when it comes to its zombies, both in capabilities and speed. It's really awful.

      • justaway

        My favourite Lori moment was when she decides that someone should go get Rick and Glenn while they were getting Hershel, as if they had forgotten to come back or something, she goes out herself, leaving Carl once again alone, manages to crash her car on an empty road and nearly gets herself killed. A+ Parenting.

      • The_Tuna

        Lori just needs to FUCKING DIE asap. I live in constant fear that they won't actually SPOILERS (but, honestly, who cares?) kill her like they do in the comic.

      • Really nice summary of The Walking Dead! Wait…

      • Tears.  Tears of laughter.

      •  Don't shit the Community pool with this unholy union of crap and ice cream!